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You were (a parenthesis, that paused
the daily, mundane stuff
of life;
a bundled breath
of fresh joy,
and borne in the wonder
of love.

Gasping and grasping,
'til in quiet you laid
still;
and I, my Child,
lie in quiet, still
tears).

And now, that is all you are,
and still so much more.
Ever seen a premature baby take its last breaths? Let's hope the answer is a no and stays that way :)

All critiques welcome :)

UPDATE: 19/01

Thanks so much for all your faves and watches guys. I REALLY appreciate it. It's humbling and encouraging getting this sorta recognition

A BIG thank you to ^NicSwaner for suggesting my piece for the DD. *salute*
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-01-18
A Parenthesis is a beginning without an end. Powerful words from ~changers-n-mash of a moment that should be embraced as parenthood, that is now parenthetical. ( Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconlupusintus:
LupusIntus Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is very beautiful.
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
Thanks ^_^
Reply
:iconzee-who:
Zee-Who Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist
Congrats on your Daily Deviation!:squee::heart:
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
Thanks so much! ^_^ I'm pretty excited about it
Reply
:iconnixiecole:
NixieCole Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
This is well crafted, leading the reader but letting the reader puzzle it out as well. The emotion is given in the feel of the words, not too much, not too little, and the poem is a celebration of something lost, saying goodbye and sharing the experience. Well done
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Thanks for the comment and the compliment ^_^
Reply
:iconzireael07:
Zireael07 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is brilliant!
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Thanks! ^_^ I'm glad you think so *egoboost* :P
Reply
:iconyourwickedclown:
YourWickedClown Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
Very beautiful work. I love how at the beginning of Parenthesis is "Parent". This piece encapsulates many intriguing concepts. So very sorry for the inspiration, but what a lovely way to deal with loss.
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Thank you. To be honest I didn't really notice the "Parent" part until you pointed it out :P I'm glad you enjoyed this piece
Reply
:iconhalcyal:
Halcyal Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
Interestingly crafted. Heartfelt. Touching.
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Thanks, I really appreciate it
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A beautiful collection of words and thoughts. :heart:
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it ^_^
Reply
:iconsmadams:
SMAdams Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure! :)
Reply
:iconsummerblack:
SummerBlack Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
amazing
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Thanks ^_^
Reply
:iconmysticdragon01:
mysticdragon01 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This reminds me of E. E. Cummings, but I guess that's just because of the parenthesis theme; otherwise, your style is unique. I especially like your line breaks; I find it interesting how you use 'still' two different ways in the second stanza. Great job. :clap:
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Yeah, much of my writing is quite parenthetical in its description, and does tend to remind people of ee cummings. You're most welcome to browse my earlier poetry if you'd like. Otherwise, thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Reply
:iconpearwood:
pearwood Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Very well said. Our second was stillborn, which was quite close enough.
Blessings,
Steve
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
I'm really sorry to hear that. It's always a little heartbreaking hearing about a life lost before its had a chance.
Reply
:iconpearwood:
pearwood Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you.
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Contemplation is a dear thing; we take so much for granted in this life.
Congratulations on your DD. :sun:
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Far too much sometimes.

Thanks for the read :) and I'm glad you enjoyed the piece
Reply
:icondaws3:
Daws3 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013   General Artist
well done!
Reply
:iconchangers-n-mash:
changers-n-mash Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconrandomactofmuse2:
RandomActofMuse2 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so sad, so haunting, and so beautiful.
Reply
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